Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Rules of The Internet for Dummies (Part 2)

This week, we’ll learn about FBI agents, why the internet ruins everything, and the infamous Rule 34.

20. Don’t take everything seriously.

You’d be surpirsed how many people are offended by parodies. As in, they actually take stuff like Monty Python and The Onion seriously.

Seriously?

Be careful what you write. People can take it to a whole ‘nother level in terms of whether they know you’re joking or not. A post kidding around on Facebook you write might cost you a job after your boss snoops around (bastard) on your page. Likewise, you should be careful before you hurl any mud at someone for a comment. They might be an idiot, or even a troll. (And you know now not to feed them!) Just try not to be thin-skinned while surfing, or you’re just going to give yourself stress-lines. And when in doubt, Snopes it.

29. In the internet all girls are men and all kids are undercover FBI agents.

Which is to say, you can be ANYthing on the internet. And I mean anything. The old rumor about FBI agents is that there are agents  claiming to be kids on the internet, looking for pedophiles.

As for the girl/guys thing… you get the picture.

Just keep in mind when Candygurl775 claims to be a 17-year old in California, you should take her (His) words with a grain of salt.

In fact, screw that, take it with a Dead Sea’s worth of salt.

34. If it exists, there is porn of it.

Ah, Rule 34.

You may be only 34th in the order of the (Official) rules, yet you seems to reign supremely over all the others in terms of occurrence, as far as the  the internet community is concerned. And you know what? It’s right. As sick, and twisted it is, there is actually dirty pictures of every faction, fandom, and concept out there.

Teletubbies? Probably.

Dinosaurs? Yep. Heck, there’s even zombie porn out there. You heard me right. The internet, indeed, is full of messed up, warped, mentally ill perverts.

And they probably moderate your favorite 4chan board.

38. There are no limits.

The internet is where you take everything to the absolute extreme. The internet, is, in fact, the host of the largest encyclopedia in the world, the largest fanfic in the world (And, technically, longest piece of written fiction) and the most wretched hive of scum and villainy you will ever come across. There are very few middle-roaders on the internet. People will often stretch things waaaaay too far.

You have been warned.

42. Nothing is sacred.

The basis behind R34. People have little, heck, no shame on the internet. In terms of what people will do to beloved childhood icons, holy figures, saintly people, etc. People are generally assholes about that. Like I mentioned before, there are no limits when it comes to this sort of thing. Often, this is where trolling stems from. (Remember: Don’t feed ’em!)

63. There is always a gender-swapped version of it.

This is one of the few ‘set’ rules of the internet that is beyond the original 47. Perhaps inspired by the manga Ranma 1/2 (Where the main character switches gender based on whether he/she is splashed with hot/cold water; I know, weird, but this is manga we’re talking about here.) There are pages and pages and pages of DeviantART, Pinterest, and even tumblr posts devoted entirely to this. While some are fairly mild (Even kind of cute) others are definitely NSFW.  Tread carefully here.

? Godwin’s Law

To quote,

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1.

Theorized by the great Michael Godwin  This pretty much sums up internet arguments. It can be over anything, be it cheese, mechanical pencils, or the Discovery Channel, someone’s going to bring it up eventually. Heck, some people do it from the start to get it over and done with. It just goes to demonstrate Rule 38 (Rule of extremes) even further.

? The T-Shirt Rule

The T-Shirt rule is, per se, as follows: You do not, without exception, wear a t-shirt for a fandom you aren’t part of, a book you’ve never read, music you don’t listen to (And just their cover songs don’t count!) a movie you can’t quote (Internet memes don’t count!) or any other media that applies therein. This also applies to any other paraphernalia, be it backpacks, hats, pins, internet forum avatars, and so on. Why? Two reasons.

1. False advertisement is rude and insulting to the fandom you are claiming to be a part of.

When you wear a t-shirt, you are making a statement. You are saying, ‘I am a part of this. I like this movie/book/whatever, and I wish to express that, and convey my feelings to other members of this fandom.’ When you wear the shirt because it looks cool (And not because you like what’s on it) you are basically sending out a false message; Youare lying to the other members of the fandom. They do not take to this kindly, which beings us to reason #2.

2. You don’t want members of the fandom you claim to be part of to start bombarding you with references you don’t get, and then get angry with you when you don’t get them.

I almost guarantee, one day you’ll be wearing your ill-advised shirt, and some poor innocent geek will approach you and quote form the movie/book/whatever, and expect you to come up with a snappy reply. You, of course, the uninformed sap that you are, will instead give them a blank stare, and realize, too late!, that they’re staring at your t-shirt.

Then the crap REALLY hits the fan.

When geeks are insulted, more often than not, they turn nasty. Fanboys/girls rarely take kindly to ‘fake’ geeks, and who can blame them? They invested their time, emotional energy, and even money into their favorite show/game/music, and here you come waltzing along, advertising for something you only know the surface of, and haven’t worked at. You think internet flame wars are bad? Imagine them in real life. Even if they don’t do something outright, more often than not, they aren’t going to be very happy with you for faking out on them.

So, next time you see the Marvel shirt and all you’ve seen is the shawarma scene from The Avengers, skip it.

? Toph is the greatest Earthbender. Ever.

This is more of memetic rule than anything, but it is one of the few things generally agreed upon in the Avatar fandom (And even outside of the fandom): Toph is a badass.

Evidence for that is present here, here, and here.

Advertisements

The Five Stages of Finishing a Deadfic

It’s sad to watch a good fanfic die. The story starts out, the author updates every week or so, and characters realistic, the plot crackling with life….

And then it ends.

You refresh the page constantly for hours on an end, staring at the mocking words, “Last Update: June 18, 2010” There are few things more painful than seeing this as you scroll through the chapters, and you wonder if the author died, or was just being lazy. This is one of the sad risks of fanfic; (That, and lemon fics) There is a chance of getting hooked on a really great fanfic that never truly concludes.

These are the typical stages of grief after you finish that last chapter.

1. Denial

You look at the chapter list in confusion, trying in vain to scroll down. Surely there’s been a mistake! I mean, the author herself said the next chapter would be out on Thursday! Right? Right?

2. Anger

What a jerkass! The nerve of him, leaving all of his readers hanging… Would it kill to at least leave a message, or an excuse? A one-shot? Anything? Those bastards….

3. Bargaining

Maybe if you contribute to their (Long expired) PayPal account, they’ll post? Or, wait, a quick email will do the trick! Yeah, just humbly beg them to release a chapter, and all of your problems will be solved, and you can get on with your life! Wait, why is Gmail sending me an error message?

4. Depression

MY LIFE IS AN ENDLESS VOID OF PAIN AND SUFFERING.

5. Acceptance

Eh, the canon was better anyway.

 

Geek Series: The Rules of the Internet for Dummies

The internet is a magical, wonderful, beautiful place where people share knowledge, interact with each other, and where all common sense, logic, and etiquette go out the window. The Rules of The Internet is a bit of of an effort to tie the internet into a tidy little package, easily understandable and accessible to all, all while providing advice and warning to the less-than-savvy internet user.

Like the internet, you could say it went all to hell pretty damn quickly.

The Rules of the Internet are famous and infamous in their own right, and very little of it is set. The rules that ARE set are the more famous (i.e. notorious) of them. Th original 50 were originally posted on a 4chan board in 2007, and even then, they have been changed around a fair amount. That’s just the way the internet works.

Because I am a nice, caring person with no life, I have decided to take the more famous (And infamous) of the rules and post them here for your enjoyment, and warning.

For each week, I’ll post 7 or so named rules and a little explanation (For the uninitiated) for each, along with some, ah unofficial ones out there that I have encountered, and that are good to know for general reference and/or abiding by, for a total of 10. I’ll try to do them in order, but since (as I said) the rules aren’t set, so, depending on the different sources you use for reference, the rules seen here may be out of order/differently numbered.

So, without any further ado, here are the (more famous and unofficial) RULES OF THE INTERNET.

1. Do not talk about the /b/.

The /b/, if you may be wondering, is the nebulous mass of profanity, perversion, and newly-born memes known as 4chan. It is essentially a chat forum with pictures. Nearly half a million (!) people use every day.

Why aren’t you allowed to talk about, you ask?

Because of an internet meme.

(Which pretty much sums up 4chan in its essence, actually.)

2. Do not talk about the /b/.

See above.

3-5. We are Anonymous.

I have discussed Anonymous in a previous post, and I will say this again: Do not mess around with them. If you are a small-scale blogger like me, you might be able to trash them some, but if you’re the government, FBI, Westboro Baptist Church, or the Church of Scientology, you are screwed. They do not forgive, or forget, like some sort of elephant-like hive-mind with an internet connection and traceable archives.

Expect them.

10. There are no real rules for posting…

This applies to any given blog, commentary, or forum. Sure, they might the fancy list of ‘rules’ at the top, and, hell, they might even screen the comments before they’re posted, but you’d be surprised what people can sneak in. On the internet, anything goes.

11. …or for moderation.

Mods are only human. Often, they will block comments or even ban people that they disagree with or have a vendetta against. It isn’t fair, but it happens. You have been warned.

12./13. Anything can be used against you/be turned into something else.

This speaks for itself, and is one of the most important rules to remember. Be very careful with what you post, as it can be taken in a completely different way, and used against you. A famous (and controversial) example is when PewDiePie, a YouTube personality, made a sarcastic comment (Though many will argue otherwise) that basically caused a giant flame war.

Don’t do this. Be careful what you post. (A message from your friendly neighborhood dragonchick)

14. Don’t feed the trolls.

You know that one kid that you sat in front of in elementary school? Y’know, the one that would do a million little maddening things, like poke you in the back, or steal all of your pencils, or stick gum on your chair, until you finally snapped at him and got yourself in trouble?

Trolls are like that, except instead of hiding your pencils, they insult your taste in music. (Or movies, or whatever.) Don’t snap at them, or get angry. This is what they want. Just ignore them (No matter how annoying/insulting they are) and move on. (I know. It’s hard.)

Bonus Rule: The Rules of the Internet aren’t set.

Like I said before, they aren’t. Heck, the only numbered ones that are really accounted for are 34 and 63 (more on that later.) Like the Bible, and the music video for Of Monsters and Men’s ‘Little Talks’, the Rules are mostly up for individual interpretation. So, don’t count on anything official; However, most of the ones I cover here are fairly well-known/actual good advice. (As far as I know, at least.)

Bonus Rule: Sturgeon’s Law

That is to say, 90% of everything is crap.

People forget this. They learn where to get the best coffee, they read the best, most popular books, and know the best restaurants. They are so used to seeing the cream at the top that they forget about the scum lurking at the bottom that makes up everything else. The internet is helping Sturgeon’s Law make a comeback, and even scew the ratio a fair amount.

For every good fanfic, there are about 99 million lemony, Mary-Sue filled, grammatically horrendous slash fics. For every Breaking Bad, there are hundreds of Honey-Boo-Boos. For every interesting episode of Naruto, there are 99 fillers. The list goes on and on. The most important thing is to be able to discern the crap from the cream. (Sometimes, it’s harder than you think)

Bonus Rule: Half-Life 3 will come out…right after the Rapture.

And not this Rapture.

Valve is considered one of the greatest video-game companies, hands-down, ever. It created Steam, revolutionized gameplay and game creation, and nearly every single game they’ve ever made is critically praised. It created the Portal, Team Fortress, and Left 4 Dead Series (And sequels.)

Oh, and Half-Life.

Half-Life is Valve’s most famous series, praised for its compelling characters, immersive gameplay, and gripping storyline, follows the adventures of Gordon Freeman, and his crowbar-swinging attempts to save the world from an alien invasion. The first game was released in 1998 for PC, and in 2001 for PS2. Half-Life 2 was released in 2004 (Along with Episode 1 and 2 in 2006 and 2007, respectively.)

And then…Nothing.

No news, no release dates, no trailers, just…nothing. Valve certainly wasn’t defunct. It went on to produce games such as Portal 1 and  2, Left 4 Dead 1 and 2, and Team Fortress 2, along with mods and DLCs for all of them. Nobody knows what, when, or even if HL3 will come out. There are many crazy fan theories and jokes surrounding this, ranging from it being held custody by the government, to the making Gabe Newell fat jokes pushing back the date. Unfortunately, Valve runs on its own timetable. Literally, there is a phenomenon known as Valve Time. So, when HL3 actually comes out is anybody’s guess.

Maybe Gabe Newell will take the faithful up to Valve headquarters one day to play Half-Life 3 forevermore, and leave the rest of us sinners down here with E.T.

Quick List of Unicorn Chasers and Brain Bleach

We’ve all done it. You clicked the tinyurl and got treated to a lovely goatse display. Or you just spent 4.5 hours playing Slender, and want to be able to sleep for the next few months. And I bet you regret reading that terrible creepypasta…

If the implications weren’t as serious as they are, you would probably soak your brain in bleach right around now.

What you need is a unicorn chaser.

A unicorn chaser (Or unicorn rinser, or brain/eye bleach) is a set of pleasant or appealing images you look at/read/watch after an unpleasant image or experience (Like a scary game/movie, gross image, or Creepypasta) Here is a quick list of recommended head-cleaners for your viewing pleasure, lest you happen to stumble upon the darker parts of the internet while surfing.

Squee

To put it simply, it is an endless procession of adorable animals. On its own, it is quite mind numbing to all but the most hearty of animal lovers. After seeing any nasty images, this site is pretty good way to get your head clean, and fill your soul with images of anime-eyed kittens, Fennec foxes, and (strangely enough) baby spiders.

Jack Johnson

This is glurgey, feel-good, sappy, sappy, sappy music, that actually happens to be good. It is warm, fuzzy, and cuddly, and it talks about happy, nice images (Like love, and surfing ,and Hawaiians) It’s good music for when you’re depressed, or after you have read a post that made you lose your faith in humanity. I mean, seriously; How can you be mad after listening to this?

TV Tropes

I LOVE TV Tropes. It’s a very addictive site, and can cause you to rack up a lot of links as you go. It isn’t a site designed specifically as a UC, but sometimes the best way to get something scary out of your head is to deconstruct it. Slenderman scaring you to death? One of the theories on his Wild Mass Guessing page is that his real name is Jimmy. [Citation need] Images of Grunts from Amnesia burned into your skull? It might help if you knew that fandom calls them “Mr. Flappyjaw” (Cute, I guess…) The only issue with it is that fact you can easily spend hours on it. Hours, and hours, and hours…

Yakety Sax

This is your last resort. You just spend 3 straight hours playing Silent Hill 2, and you refuse to turn off the the 9 lights, lamps, and nightlights you set up in your room. You barraged yourself with pictures of puppies, listened to 6 different songs about surfing, and even managed to find about about the infamous dog ending, but all to no avail. Every time the wind blows, you think it’s pyramid head.

Until you listen to this.

I swear, Yakety Sax has the ability to make ANYTHING funny. The rabies scene in Old Yeller? Hilarious! (In a twisted, twisted way. You sicko.) Titanic? You’ll be laughing your ass off as Jack freezes to death. Even the chestburster scene in Alien takes on a new dimension of humor. Use it sparingly, though, or your friends will give you some very odd looks when you start chuckling to yourself during scary movie night.

Geeky Holidays to Celebrate in December

Hello all, I hope you had a very happy Thanksgivinguh (Which will never, ever happen, ever again) Sorry I did not post last week, as I was prevented from doing so due to an extended game of Risk. (Here’s a hint: If you have Australia, you have the world!)

Since it is the first weekend of the month, I am posting my ‘Geeky Holidays’ post for December. Here are 6 holidays for you to celebrate this month, as you attempt to block out all of the cheesy, horrible Christmas music all of the department stores are playing on loop now. Have a happy December!

December 3: The Anniversary of the 1st Text

1-texting_620x414

Whether it is an occasion to celebrate (Texting is pretty damn useful) or to mourn (Texting while driving is a rising concern) texting is part of our lives in the modern world. From its humble beginnings in 1992, most people between the ages of 18 and 24 send an average of 67 texts a day– and the number is growing. So, whether you love it or hate it, mark your calendars so you can either celebrate–or commiserate-the day the first text was sent. (It was ‘Merry Christmas’, by the way)

December 5: Ninja Day

The International Ninja Association celebrating Ninja Day

The International Ninja Association celebrating Ninja Day

Ninjas are staple in pop culture, kinda like the duct-tape equivalent of awesome. Need an action scene? Have your hero fight ninjas! Need an instant badass? Make him a secret ninja! Though it’s become very cliche (even funny) to have ninjas in a setting outside of Japan, they are permanently branded into our subconscious: Ninjas=Cool. To celebrate these shadowy warriors, dress up as a ninja, and have a ninja party! Look up the history of the internet’s greatest badasses (besides Chuck Norris) and impress your friends! And don’t tell them you got it from.

December 15: Bill of Rights Day

bill of rights

For all of you former AP Government and U.S. History geeks out there, this day is a no-brainer. As much as Congress argues over it, the Bill of Rights is part of the Untied State’s history, and structure today. While it was basically created to pacify the Anti-Federalists so they would ratify the Constitution, it is still considered one of the central parts in keeping the US a free and democratic country. Mark your calendars and honor this great document by reading it out loud at the dinner table (Which might get you a few weird looks) giving your history professor a card (Which might get you extra credit) or downing some of General Washington’s special eggnog (Which might get you drunk)

December 16: Anniversary of the Porygon Incident….

pokemon-seizures

On this day, in 1997, at 6:30, about 26.9 million families sat down to watch the latest episode of Pokemon. At around 6:50, a scene with strobe-light effects was shown, causing nearly 700 children with epilepsy to experience seizures, sending them to the hospital. The effect was known as ‘Pokemon Shokku’ (Pokemon shock) and caused the episode to be pulled from the rerun lineup, and was never again shown.

Well, at least not outside of Youtube videos.

…and Beethoven’s Birthday

Beethoven Free CROPPED

And, in a completely unrelated incident, in 1700, in what would now be known as Belgium, a boy was born to a bass-singer named Lodewijk van Beethoven, who named the child Ludwig. Ludwig would go on to compose over 400 songs in his lifetime, even after he lost his sense of hearing in his late twenties. Many of his songs are known to the general masses, and have been preformed by famous orchestras and high-school bands alike. Honor what many consider the world’s greatest composer with a Beethoven sweatshirt; Or perhaps listening to his 3rd Symphony while eating Belgian Waffles.

December 23: Festivus (For the rest of us)

festivus

Even non-Seinfeld fans are dimly aware of this holiday, designed to counteract the crass commercialism of the modern holidays celebrated today. (*CoughCHRISTMAScough*)

Here is how to celebrate this great (and obscure) holiday:

  1. Obtain an unadorned aluminum pole.
  2. Conduct the Airing of Greviances before the Festivus dinner: Each person presents complaints on what sucked about the year (Kinda like an anti-Thanksgiving)
  3. Partake in the Festivus Dinner (Spaghetti in red sauce, or meat loaf)
  4. Finally, to bring the holiday to an end, the head of the household must conduct the Feats of Strength; The head wrestles a participant of his/her choosing in front of the entire family. The holiday ends when the head is pinned to the ground.

If one wishes to partake in gift-giving, they may donate to the Human Fund. (Note: Neither Geek Rush, or thedragonchick are liable if you are scammed. Then again, I *do* happen to know a Nigerian Prince…)

December 28: Poor Richard’s Almanak Day

poor_richard_1759_feb

Ben Franklin was probably the craziest, geekiest, awesomest dude running around colonial America in the late 1700s. Inventor, founding father, and master fart-joke teller, this guy had is plate full–and even fuller, when he published Poor Ricard’s Almanak in 1732. While it contained the typical weather predictions and farming advice, Franklin also included math formulas and exercises (Because when you’re a genius, algebra is the equivalent of Candy Crush when it comes to entertainment) and (most famously) his quotes and proverbs. Celebrate one of Ben’s most noted achievements by telling some of his fart jokes, quoting his Almanac, doing some math problems (For the lulz) and drinking his favorite beer (In case Washington’s eggnog doesn’t do it for you)

Geeky Holidays to Celebrate in November

Ah, November. That wonderful time of year to watch football, eat turkey, and scream in exasperation when you hear another Christmas commercial over the radio, before it’s even the end of the first week. To take your poor, over-Jingle-Bell’d minds off of the horror that is the corporate sellout, it is my great pleasure to present these quirky holidays to celebrate this month. (Next time, I’ll post it on the first weekend of the month!)

geek headstoneNovember 2: Write your Own Epitaph Day

We are but mere mortals (Unless I’m missing something here) and, eventually, we will all go up to the big comic book store (Or movie theatre, or Comic Con, etc) in the sky. What will you want the world to remember you by? Well, on this day, you can decide while you’re still kicking! Would you prefer a Monty Python quote? Or perhaps a Firefly quip to eternally mark your remains? Plan for the future!

king tutNovember 4: King Tut Day

For history buffs, archeologists, and Egyptian geeks, this is truly a day to celebrate. Revel in the fact that though King Tut might not have been the greatest, or richest, or even the best-mummified Pharaoh out there, his tomb was absolutely untouched by grave robbers. (Well, until at least until Howard Carter came along) Go and have a King Tut party; It shouldn’t be cursed! (If you ARE cursed, I take no responsibility for any deaths, injuries, possessions by vengeful Egyptian demons, etc)

we do not forgive November 5: Guy Fawkes Day (AKA Anonymous Day)

Member of Anonymous, you know who you are, (‘Cos I sure don’t!) and you should already know about this holiday. Also known as Bonfire Night, it was originally (And still is, to some extent) celebrated to commemorate the failed assassination of the English king James I. Typically celebrated with bonfires and drinking (as are many holidays are wont to do) It is also celebrated with opposite intentions in some circles, these intentions being to celebrate rebellion against the government. Characterized with the cry of ‘Remember, remember, the 5th of November’ (Popularized by the comic and the move V for Vendetta) this day celebrates rebellion against conformity and oppression, and is (somewhat) considered the national day for the (in)famous internet group, Anonymous. This group celebrates the day with protests, threats, and wearing masks of Fawkes. No that I encourage this, or disparage this,  in any way. (Please don’t hurt me, Anonymous! I have a family!)

Approved for release by USNS Comfort PAO LT Susan Henson (pao@comfort.navy.mil or sdhenson@comfort.navy.mil).November 6: National Saxophone Day

Yes, for all of you former band geeks (And Lisa Simpson fans) now is the day to shine! Play a spontaneous solo in the middle of the street! Listen to your favorite John Coltrane albums! Watch that Simpsons episode with Bleeding Gums Murphy again! Or, do your ‘phone a favor and give it a good polish. It deserves it.

sillyNovember 20: Absurdity Day

And, to finish off the month, the 20th is the day to be absurd. (Well, if you aren’t absurd enough already) Go wild! Try some Ministry-approved walks! Eat breakfast for dinner! Attempt to read Twilight! (Ok, please don’t do the last one, for the sake of your sanity. You’ll regret it.) The possibilities are endless. Variety may be the spice of life, but weird is like the vitamins; If you go without it, you become rather grey. (Well, and you also suffer from a variety of horrible diseases, but you get the idea.) Embrace the weirdness in you, and spread it around. It makes the world far more interesting.

Happy rushing this November!

Top 4 Video Game Songs

Quick disclaimer: These are my  personal favorites here. I know that some people love these songs, and some people hate them; These are just the ones that I like the most, and wanted to share. This post also contains a few SPOILERS!

Music is a powerful thing. It can invoke great emotions within one’s self, and adds depth and personality to various forms of media. Video-game makers are taking advantage of this, and often spend a good amount of time and effort into creating an atmospheric, fitting soundtrack to help immerse the player in the game. Here are my personal top 4 video game songs (In no particular order) that give me a Rush.

1. The Gusty Galaxy Theme Song (Super Mario Galaxy)

They didn’t name Super Mario Galaxy the Game of the Generation for nothing. This song fits the theme of the galaxy perfectly: It’s breezy, light, and fun, yet elegant. It makes you feel like you’re dancing on air. Heck, this song is so popular that it’s practically the theme song for the Super Mario Galaxy series–And with good reason! It’s an all-around likeable song, even if you’ve never played the game.

2. Drunken Whaler (Dishonored)

I’m slightly cheating with this one. You don’t really find this song in-game, except for in some obscure book about sea-shantys. (And even then, it’s only the lyrics) It was, in fact, played over the E3 trailer for the game, but even that does nothing to lessen the fact that it’s a really great song. What makes it great is that fact that it fits the game so well. It’s dark, creepy, and gruesome– Like you’re going to do something horrible to someone in the next five minutes. (Remind you of something?) It’s the exact opposite of the Gusty Garden theme; It make you feel gloomy and depressed, and also a bit scared. Seriously! It sounds like it’s being sung by a little girl possessed by a demon. And it sounds awesome.

3. Turret Opera (Portal 2)

Most people love Still Alive, and post it as their favorite Portal Song. I, however, put this song as my favorite. Why? Because it is sweet, beautiful, and (Once you read the translated lyrics) sad. It’s a bittersweet ending to the second Portal game; The taste of freedom as you make your way up to the surface, that will still bring tears to your eyes once you realize the meaning of the words. (Go do it! Now!) The only thing cuter is the music box version.

4. Skyrim Theme (Skyrim)

This is one of those special, special songs–Y’ know, the kind that automatically makes you feel badass, no matter what you’re doing? Like Guren no Yumiya and Eye of The Tiger, this song makes you feel like you could go outside and save the world, slay a dragon, or conquer a small European country with nothing but an AK-47 and a machete. When I first heard it, I thought it was being sung by a bunch of fully-armed, musclebound Vikings. It oozes awesomeness. It is a song to make you motivated. It is… dragonborn.

And so, there you have it. A song to make you happy, a song to make you creeped out, a song to make you sad, and a song to make you feel badass. Hope this post gave you as much of a Rush as it gave me when I wrote it!